I knew since I was a little girl:
I want to be a Mom one day!
No question, no doubts and that didn’t change over the years.
But I never got interested in boys and when I turned 17 I fell for a woman and my dream shattered into a million pieces.
In the beginning at least, thankfully nowadays there are ways to become a parent even if you’re not interested in the other sex. For gays it’s so much harder though. But that’s not the subject here, though one that should be talked about too!!!
That I will use the research that I did back then to get pregnant alone and by myself, not something I ever imagined.
But then I was single; first one year, then two, …
At some point I got used to being single, I liked it even. I had great friends, a good job, I was traveling a lot and from time to time I had an affair. My life was great, I was happy, …
I will find the right one at some point
That’s what I told myself but if I would have been honest with myself, I started to doubt it.
What when the right one never shows up or what if she doesn’t want kids?
And the fact, that after you’re 30 years old it’s going to be difficult to get pregnant by insemination and that the chances will lower drastically with each additional year of age, was burned into my mind.
And time passed by, I was getting older. Quickly…
So I made a back up plan and told myself:
If I am still single when I’m turning 30, I will become a Single Mom by Choice, I will do it on my own!
A crazy thought, one that wouldn’t leave me alone anymore.
As of that point I started to really think about it, research the subject of doing it all alone. I googled lots and read books on the subject, searched for donors, … But I didn’t talk with anyone about all this.
Because I really hoped until the very end, that I will not have to do it on my own, hoped that I’ll find the right partner and that we’ll do it together…
But then I turned 30 – and I was still single.
So that’s it, now I’m searching for the clinic, choose a donor, observe my cycles, …